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I had a revelation about boys not too long ago.
Well, not really a revelation, more like a concession. A willingness to give the benefit of the doubt. This concession stands on the shoulders of another observation. It’s a solidly known fact that men are visual creatures, whatever the hell that actually means. As far back as I can remember, this fact, in my mind, was regarded as an ill-conceived explanation, a poor excuse for an excuse. Because this excuse often functioned as an explanation as well, it seemed more like a Fifth Amendment cop-out than viable reasoning. And since there’s still a fundamental belief that a man is the default human being and woman the exception, I suppose men never went further into explaining it because they don’t think of themselves as foreign to anything or warranting understanding. Over the years, this fact would be taken more and more into account, especially when this “visual” issue would be brought up in religious contexts or presumably when no one was really paying attention. One of Jesus’ many controversial statement asserts that a man has already sinned in looking at a woman lustfully, and the bulk of men exclaim resistant, “that’s impossible!” While I can only listen passively. While this passage may well pertain to me, with me it strikes no particular chords. As a result, this “visual” quality became regarded more with mystery than skepticism. In past weeks I began to realize once again the subtle differences between our gender’s makeup through vocabulary, an issue that confronts us almost daily. If this visual component is not only real but a God-given quality, then I would imagine that the sheer cornucopia of females, in some cases outnumbering males, not only present but in some way intentionally enhanced for the sole purpose of being “visualized” must be, at some level, overwhelming. Indeed, picking just one must seem criminal! Thus the common belief held by that gender, “So many women, so little time.”
Conversely, women overall do not share this view, at all. As a woman, I would offer that we are primarily concerned with the personality and, moreover, character of a man than his appearance. Though attractiveness is a factor I’m sure we can all think of examples, fact and fiction, where a woman was caught way below her beauty class and perfectly happy. And that was okay. It usually doesn’t work that way with a man. A man has to be some kind of secure to be caught with a dog, and even then some beautification process is usually implemented. But I digress; this glaring difference in role is made even more evident in the common mantra of women: “there are no good men.” What would cause two, equally valid and conscious groups of people to believe so disproportionately? One can only imagine the mental repercussions of these precepts.
Previously, even after acknowledging this “visual” factor, I simply could not reconcile the concept of a man gaining the motivation to approach me solely on the basis of physical appearance. Any man who dared to do it immediately saw that it vexed me to my marrow, and probably wished they were in a bank while it was being robbed more than engaged in conversation with me. It just seemed to me the antithesis of all reason and I refused to relinquish any allowances to societal acceptance. I relayed this thinking to many a friend who all thought I was insane but I was merely staying consistent. If physical appearance was truly unimportant, then why should this method be used to find potential mates, especially among men, whose “visual” problem kept them hot n’ bothered over endless combinations of traits? Even more perplexing is that when compiling that list of must haves in a mate, both genders’ lists are eerily identical. What? And just how exactly do men detect sense of humor and a love for children in a woman? Bra size? A male acquaintance who complained about “mean” women such as myself took particular offense, and offered me this: “women like you don’t even appreciate that out of all the women in a room, we chose to go up to you because you were the most beautiful.”
And I thought, “bless his heart. He has no idea what he’s saying.”
It was good for him that he didn’t know what he was saying, because that meant he wasn’t lying, backpedaling or anything of the sort. He was genuinely trying to w in the argument with this, which could only mean of two things: either men are the height of delusional self-importance, or this “visual” component was really a big deal. Thanks to my God-given female ability to analyze things to death I was able to extract some insight between those lines. Not only is this visual thing a reality but it is considered a wholly workable method of distinction, a vital component to male decision-making.
It was with all this information in place that I came to my most recent conclusion, the conclusion I was speaking about. About this visual thing: A real, commonly cited mystery. Obviously potent, powerful, strong to the point of being persuasive, highly regarded, God-inspired. So I got to thinking, perhaps this characteristic has more of a purpose than we, including men themselves, realize. But mostly women. Maybe this “visual” thing is a tool. Yeah! And if this is the case, I’m sure that it wasn’t God’s intention for men to gorge themselves on as much eye candy as possible, nor spend your formidable years counting your memories by lays. Anytime you have an inherent trait that borders a superpower you can be sure that God is somehow involved. And perhaps this tool, among other things, is used to find, not just any women for any reason, but the woman for the reason. Presumably this is already happening. We’ve all heard the story that goes like “I took one look at her and I knew,” and it’s only romantic because it results in marriage. This would also suggest that this visual tool can maybe… see more than just what’s, you know, seeable? I would venture to guess that a man has the ability to see into a woman.
This was a difficult conclusion to come to because it sounds crazy and it was damned hard to find. Piled under the well-watered notion that men are fumbling idiot sex monkeys that can’t tell burgundy from vermillion unless it’s a power tool or a fantasy football team. Seriously, you should count how many times men are made fun of on TV. To entertain the idea that men have some kind of knowing? That’s exclusive to them? Female intuition has long been accepted and institutionalized in some ways. Why would it be so outlandish to think men would have something similar? Are we women willing to share the title of mystifying? I’d be surprised if men were at all alive to this tendency. There’s plenty cultural compost to keep men pre-occupied with the wrapper, why would any of them be bothered with seeing into anybody? I’m sure the ones who are attentive to it are using it for evil and honing it to our detriment. After all, how does the predatory kind know to choose its victims in a crowd? Women gussying themselves up and thinking they were fooling a nice one when in reality they were all but exposed to a bad one. Did he use your vulnerability? Your foolhardy? Pride, maybe? Did he use your ugly against you? It would definitely motivate some of us to not be lazy about our insides or try to manipulate with our outsides.
This breakthrough could truly be revolutionary.
It would give men a genuine semblance of power and responsibility and they can throw out that useless hand-me-down crap once and for all. Of course this means we would have to relinquish some power to pick our guys, but that might actually work in our favor. It’s awful work to manipulate a man into approaching and then staying forever when he doesn’t want to. In a perfect world, this trait would completely eradicate all new-millennium unisex asking out, which seems like a “step back” and a re-applying of all pressure on men but lookit: if it was in fact a perfect world and this ability was readily accepted, then women would have to be completely trusting of the process no matter how bleak, thus virtually eliminating all rejection.
Of course, the world is not in fact perfect. So that’s not gonna happen. But I will say that I for one have elected to change my behavior and frame of mind, and I will be trusting the process more and ripping men’s heads off less. So yeah. Hats off to the men. Take my advice: try to use your powers of perception for good and not evil. And don’t take lightly this gift from God, so take notice when it happens. Pass on success stories.
And that’s all. thank you.